Archive for the ‘Fantasy’ Category

Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance

2011Spirit of Vengeance

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Ciarán Hinds and Idris Elba

Just when you think things couldn’t get any worse, they make a part 2. I’d call it a sequel but I have a uncomfortable feeling that with the way they ended this movie there just might be a third train wreck coming to a theater near you.

Spirit of Vengeance takes place in Eastern Europe. Johnny Blaze (Cage) is called upon help protect a boy from the devil.

This movie is crap. Pure and simple. I am not sure why any fool even put money on this script, unless is was Cage and he had the cash just lying around gathering dust.

Cage did, yet again, prove that he can be the best whacked out dude on fire with his Tasmanian devil-like wails and screams as he rides his flaming bike. His acting was on par with the last ghastly Ghost Rider movie. Should we have expected anything different?

Seriously Nic, pull your head out.. you can do so much better!! Sweet Jeebus!

The boy, Danny (Fergus Riordan), he was alright. I haven’t seen him in anything else that I can think of so that’s all I can say.

Roark, (Ciarán Hinds), the devil is the devil…

As for the rest of the actors.. BLECH. I could have done without them… all of them.

I would not recommend this movie unless you are a die hard Cage fan. And seeing how I am, I took one for the team and watched this nightmare. As I am sure I will if there is another one.. ugh.

Two great big steaming piles of poo for this flick.

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Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

2011On Stranger Tides

Starring: Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz, Ian McShane

I wasn’t at all impressed with this Pirates movie. There wasn’t as much action or adventure or anything really as the last three movies.

The action was somewhat lame. The kings men just shooting at Sparrow and trying to capture him. Pffft! The only real adventure was the lot of them tromping through the jungle in search of… see now I forget. That is how boring it was.

Seems like are they’re starting to beat that dead horse. And Penelope Cruz, what was that all about? GADS! Talk about annoying. The movie is limping along as it is and then *BAM* there she is to sink the ship, so to speak.

For shame, the lot of you that signed on to do this film. Perhaps you should have signed on for a little more creativity too.

And for the love of all that’s gonna keep me from going postal, if there is a Pirates 5… Please, please, please let’s make it interesting, adventurous and action packed!

I’ll be handing this one (and Rob Marshall) and great big steaming pile of poo.

Thor

2011Thor

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Anthony Hopkins, Natalie Portman

Thor (Hemsworth), the most powerful of Odin’s (Hopkins) two sons, is stripped of his powers and cast out of Asgard because of his foolish arrogance and sent to Earth to live with the humans.

Scientist Jane Foster (Portman) collides with  Thor while driving her motor home/mobile lab as he falls out of dust cloud.

“The Man” caught wind of Thor’s hammer creating a crater on someone’s property. Of course being “the man” they took over at once.

This is where Thor, still being his arrogant self, causes just a wee bit of havoc for everyone around while trying to find his hammer.

Seems Thor has some lessons to learn and Jane is the one to teach him.

Thor is a great movie. All the characters were fantastic and I have got to get me one of those hammers!

OH! I love how Thor puts the smack-down on that tin man. Yeehaw!

FYI… I can’t remember if it’s this movie or another but after the credits if you keep watching there’s a trailer for another movie.. MUST SEE!

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Your Highness

2011Your Highness

Starring: Danny McBride, Natalie Portman and James Franco

A friend warned me about this movie Your Highness. He said there are things in this movie I would never unsee, they would be seared into my brain forever ever… or close to it. He was right.

The ONLY reason I half-heartedly watched this Your Highness is because someone else picked it. I passed on the warning I was given, but still they wanted to watch it. And now, they cannot unsee what should not have been seen.

All you could hear out of me during the movie was “What the…” “OMG!” “EWW” “Are You Kidding Me?!” “My eyes! My eyes!” “Natalie Portman is in this?! Did she need the money?”

And that is how horrible Your Highness is. I have seen some vulgar and offensive movies bordering on porn before but this one… this one should be burned and have someone say the last rites over it.

I could have sworn James Franco (Fabious) could act. In this movie, he can’t act his way out of a soaking wet paper sack with holes in it. Danny McBride (Thadeous), is he always an idiot or does he just play one on the big screen? And Natalie, little Natalie… WTF were you thinking? Do you owe millions to someone? Were you blackmailed into doing this film? There has  got to be some reason for lowering your standards!

There was nothing minutely funny about Your Highness. Yes, it was an Adventure… an adventure down vulgar road. And there was Fantasy but I think it was only with the film makers thinking this movie could make them big bucks.

I am giving Your Highness two HUGE steaming piles of crap.

P.S. The next time someone tells me something will be seared into my brain forever, I’m going to believe them!

 

 

Season of the Witch

2011

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Ron Perlman and Claire Foy

I liked this movie. I don’t care what the critics had to say, they can keep that snobby stick up their unimaginative butts.

The ONLY problem I had with this movie was toward the end with the Monks, but I can’t tell you what it is because I don’t know if you’ve watched it or not. If you have, then you probably know what I am referring to.

I do like watching Nic Cage, he is pretty fantastic, however… The Sorcerer’s Apprentice was not so good. At least not for adults. Definitely a kids movie.

There were a whole lotta battles going on under the name of the church, and I think that if God wanted them killin’ all those non-believers He would have done it himself. Simple mass destruction. Silly medieval folk.

I would say this is a recommendable flick.

Hereafter

2010

Starring: Matt Damon, Cécile De France, and Bryce Dallas Howard

I thought this was going to be a great movie. I had high hopes from the previews. I could sum this movie up in one word… UGH!

Slooooow, very very slow. One Hundred and Twenty Nine minutes I will never see again. I’m all for paced movies, but this one almost had me shutting if off.

I get all the afterlife mumbo-jumbo stuff (which there wasn’t much of) and that each of the lives of the three main characters will come together at some point in the movie. But speed it up just a tad.

And good heavens, if you’re a depressive or the like I wouldn’t recommend this movie. You’ll hit one hell of a downward spiral.

Oh, there were a couple scenes in the movie that took my breath away. I’m issuing a possible tissue warning.