Rock of Ages

2012

Starring: Julianne Hough, Diego Boneta and Tom Cruise

When trailers started popping up for this flick I was pretty excited. It looked to be a darned good movie. I mean, look at the cast and the music… How could you go wrong?!

SWEET MOTHER OF GOD did they go wrong!! and in so many ways. It was like a musical train wreck that you just couldn’t stop. A TWO HOUR auto-tuned nightmare. I just kept staring at the screen, eyes locked if not in disbelief then in pure horror of what was unfolding before me. You could have cut off a toe and I probably wouldn’t have noticed.

Their first wrong doing was when the girl Sherrie (Hough) gets off the bus and starts singing “Just like living in paradise” when she should be singing “Welcome to the Jungle”. The scene isn’t paradise at all it’s the complete opposite. Come on people! {face palm}

I must admit, I did giggle once. It was when Drew (Boneta) got up on stage for the first time and sang. After he finished they panned over to Lonny (Brand) and he and another guy had their lighters aflame. A salute to rock ‘n roll.

OH OH OH! Let me not forget get the “I think I’m Gods gift” pseudo star of the flick, Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx. Good grief! Because his ego wasn’t big enough, they made him a friggin’ rock star! And of course he’s got the slutty sluts hanging all over and such… HURL!

Who approves this shit?! Apparently these 80s bands needed some hard cash to let this happen to their classic tunes. Such a sad day in music history.

I won’t be recommending this movie… even to a coma patient.

.

Mirror Mirror

(2012)

Starring: Lily Collins, Julia Roberts and Armie Hammer

Mirror Mirror was absolutely ridiculous! I sat through the whole movie just shaking my head wondering why I was still watching it.

I have to give props to Julia portraying the evil Queen, she did so in a spectacular fashion. Her facial expressions were top notch.

Everything else… just plain crap.

I’m giving this movie three steaming piles of doggie poo.

The Help

2011

Starring: Emma Stone, Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer

I was finally able to watch The Help this weekend. It was well worth the wait. What a fantastic movie. I laughed, I teared up, I got angry at those racist white biatches… I think I felt everything The Help wanted me to feel.

Set in Mississippi in the ’60s, Skeeter (Stone) returns from college determined to become a writer. Her first job, the housekeeping column in the local paper.

Not long after being back Skeeter decides she wants to writes a book, from the black housekeepers perspective. You can only imagine what happens from here out…

I highly recommend The Help as a viewing choice. I personally plan on watching this again and possibly buying it. Absolutely fantastic and it deserved every award it received.

Award listings: Imdb.com Award List